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husbands get upset when their wives refuse to do this or that around the house.  This has subjected many wives to physical mistreatment. But the following incident from a book of Fiqh clearly shows that is not the duty of the wife  to tend after the house; and therefore, it can in no way justify any sort of retort on the part of the husband. In fact, the following quote (from Muhammad Abdul Rauf's book) would make it seem that many women nowadays should be the ones complaining as they are forced to do work  that they are not responsible for" The following passage is from Marriage in Islam: A Manual p. 48 by Abdul-Rauf Muhammad.  It is reported that a man once came to 'Umar, the second Caliph, with the intention of bringing to his notice certain complaints he had against his wife.  When he reached the door of Umar's house, he heard the Caliph's wife railing against him.   Hearing  this, he went back as he thought that the Caliph himself was in the same predicament and could, therefore, be hardly expected to set matters right for him.  "Umar, coming out of his house, saw the person going back. So he called him out and inquired as to the purpose which had brought him to his house.  He said that he had come to him with some complaints against his wife, but turned back on finding that the Caliph himself was subject to the same treatment from his wife. "Umar said to him that he patiently bore  the excesses of his wife because she had certain rights over him.  "Is is not true that she cooks my food, washes my clothes and suckles my children, thus reliving me of the necessity of employing a cook, a washerman and a nurse although she is not in the slighted degree responsible for this? Not only that, I enjoy peace of mind on account of her and I am protected from committing the sin of adultery.  In view of these advantages, I put up with her excesses.  You should also do the same."

   Zarabozo then adds "Thus we see that the husband is not only responsible for the maintenance of the wife, but is also responsible for the cooking and the cleaning, and general maintenance of the house by either hiring a servant, doing the work himself or by being lucky enough to have a wife who is willing to do it out of her own free will.  If the wife refuses to help out in these areas, she is not to be hold responsible and cannot be reprimanded.  In summary there is the following Hadeeth from the Prophet  sallallahu alayhe wa sallam the rights of a wife.  Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri narrates in Abu Dawud #2137 Mu'awiyah asked: Apostle of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied: That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house". "Another point that should be taken into consideration is education. Finally Zarabozo writes "In conclusion, we feel that the wife has certain duties and responsibilities and in these duties she must completely obey her husband.  These are in the matters of sex, staying within the house, and not allowing people into her home her husband does not like.  We have seen that she can only be beaten in the case of nushuz, which refers to the aspect in which she must be completely obedient to her husband, and that too only after she has been admonished and she has been separated from the husbands bed.  A great scholar, such as Imam Shafi has practically prohibited beating.  Furthermore, we have seen that she is not

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Excellent  Social Conduct Talks regarding how to the treat wife kindly by Menk