48. Some brothers have the idea that they don't want to work for the Kufr yet they send their wives out to work, or lie on applications to collect public assistance, do you think that you will take this impermissible course of action?Questions for those agreeing to be a co-wife
49. If your wife is attending school, will you allow her to further her education and pay for the tuition? If now how will you accommodate her educational needs?
50. Am I expected to follow the husband blindly in Islamic matters when there is authentic proof to the contrary of what the husband is expecting? If the answer is yes, this goes against Islam.
51. Sometimes after child birth or at any other time a woman may gain a lot of weight. Would you allow your wife to participate in some type of exercise program outside of the house, once she is ready and healed or take her for walks or purchase equipment so that she may workout at home.
52. Will you ask my permission before offering my services to someone else? (i.e. baby-sitting, typing or whatever). Always consult your wife before agreeing on her behalf that she will commit to various projects and aids.
( in countries that will not jail you for this)
1. Do you have a clear understanding of my rights as a co-wife? (That you must be fair and not show favoritism among other things) That I must be supported without public assistance programs.
2. Will I be expect to live in the same house with the other wife? If so I have the right to my own residence.
3. How will you be able to divide your time up between us fairly?
4. If the other wife does not like me, how will you handle this situation?
5. How does the other wife feel about you adding another wife?
6. Why are you seeking to marry another wife?
7. Are you happy with your current marriage?
8. If you already have children will I be asked to help out with children that are not mine?
It is always a good thing that the other wife knows that her husband is seeking to take another wife. Make sure you speak with the other wife before you marry, and ask her questions about her husband, what is his true character? You also want to do this, because you may put yourself in the middle of a war. One sister found out that her husband took another wife and became a loose cannon and went ballistic. She threw things threw the windows of the home and wrecked the house. Is that the type of person you want to have as a co wife? Some unstable ladies my come to physically harm you or your property. Likewise, wouldn't you want a heads up if you were her? At the very least this is a good idea, so that she knows about you and can try to mentally prepare herself for your addition to the family she has established.
If a woman finds that her husband is seeking another wife, she should make dua and ask Allah to help her accept this and remain in the marriage so long as he is following the rules and regulations of Islam, step by step and has proper provisions and so forth, rather than break up the home. However, if a lady feels that she simple is unable to handle such a transition, she should inform her husband of this to make sure he knows her feelings. As a last resort, she has the option for divorce. Not as a punishment toward the man for taking his rights, but if she feels she personally is unable to mentally handle being in such a relationship. A man is allowed to have another wife, if he is able to financially support his whole family without public assistance, and be fair. However, although that is his right, a woman who does not feel able to deal with such an arrangement, should not rage out, but to amicably seek a divorce so that she is free to marry someone else. It may be better for the woman to leave the marriage, then to be subjected to a situation that is something she doesn't wish to deal with as she may cause problems or find herself deeply hurt and unhappy. Men have rights, but some woman are not able to tolerate accommodating a man in such a right, while others are.
If you have any questions regarding marriage and divorce rights, interaction between men and women and other issues see the searchable database at http://www.islamqa.com/en